I spanked my children.
In Singapore you can get nifty little canes- a swift flick on the open palm- does not cause any damage but it does send a point home. Let me see...now my children are all grown up...all three of them have above average IQs- my son works in a field which requires high intelligence. He holds a degree in Physics. My daughter graduated from university with honors and was her class speaker. My youngest daughter is pursuing her nursing degree. I guess they decided not to poll my family.
I grew up in Singapore where spankings were accepted as a normal form of discipline. I don't see the IQ of the nation suffering in any way. I'm just curious about these studies. Where actually do they do their testings or research? Do they go to some out of the way place and recruit a group of people that are a bit slow to begin with. Then do they find out those people spank and conclude that the spankings caused the slowness?
Spanking a child- if done correctly- will not make a child smarter or make them dumber. I'm sorry to tell you- whether we like it or not- there are certain of us who are not going to be as smart as the next person no matter how hard we study. My elder brother is a genius....literally....he graduated early from high school and started University just before he was 15- graduated at with his BA before he was 17. My two older sisters were 4.0 students. I had a mere 3.6 average in University...and no matter how I tried I could not raise it. I learned long ago in life to accept the fact my siblings were just very gifted in the head department and I just had to work a bit harder to 'get things'-- that is life-- spankings....etc didn't change that fact.
In fact, my three elder siblings- with their 4.0 GPAs- got alot more spankings than I ever got! I was the 'baby' of the family- and my mom slowed down a bit when I came along. So that seems to actually support the reverse of the statistics.
Again, I'm not talking about abuse. And I'm not advocating using a switch when 'time out' works well enough. There is a time and place for everything, and discipline can come in many forms...to eliminate one form completely will have sad lasting effects. (which will only be seen as the child gets older)
true... i am completely against spanking, in fact i did a post some time back on the very issue- http://titli15081977.blogspot.in/2012/03/spare-child.html
ReplyDeletewill read your post!
DeleteInteresting to know about spanking and IQ!
ReplyDeleteIt is really a blessing to have parents who understand the child. I am blessed too!
not sure I agree with the statistics
DeleteAgreed Spanking has nothing to do with IQ. The max is you put some sense of responsibility in the child when spanked. But again, it depends on how the child is. But IQ and spanking, no connection there! Very different topic and a wonderfully put post Connie.
ReplyDeletethis blogathon stretches me to go into other topics- ha ha!! Some maybe not so interesting- but oh well.
DeleteBy the way, I was wondering if you had sent me the guest post yet- I've been like a chicken without her head lately and didn't want to have accidentally delete it.
No Not yet Connie. I promise to write and send that to you over the weekend. I am so bogged down by work, that I can barely manage to read and comment :-(
DeleteNot to worry Jenny- just take your time- I was only afraid I might have accidentally deleted it.
Deletei do not believe in abuse and i do not believe in spanking too...
ReplyDeletebut they way americans are taking child care to the extreme ..is ridiculous..children have to be diciplined, otherwise how will they learn discipline ...i think americans are just bringing up their children to be spoilt brats!!
http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/
I think each family needs to come to a happy decision for their own family- but definitely they should have boundaries- whatever those boundaries are. No boundaries does create spoilt offspring- I think no boundaries also create spoilt adults.
Delete'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is the moral of the story:)
ReplyDeleteha ha- I think we are of the same generation!
DeleteI agree with you completely. I was only rarely spanked as a child and I would never characterize it as abuse. It was totally controlled discipline that my parents used when other modes of discipline failed.
ReplyDeleteyes- exactly what I'm talking about!
DeleteYes, Christian and I agree. I have read some posts against spanking and sure, there needs to be a balance of talking to the child, working through things and getting to the root of issues rather than spank first, ask later. But, I was spanked as a child and have no bad feelings toward it. It was done in a biblical manner and with the guidance of the Lord. That is how discipline should be done, spanking included. Thanks for the post Connie!
ReplyDeleteYes, you are right- if discipline is done in the right manner!
Deletethis is a touchy topic for most parents because there is so much media & all these statistics and research findings warning them against spanking that sometimes parents do feel lost because their most natural urge is to spank the child, depending on the gravity of the situation of course
ReplyDeletei think you really took on the "findings" by its horns and presented your views really strongly
Thank you for your comment- for some reason this didn't come through on my blog reader. Yes, it is a very touchy subject- and I'm not even sure I was the right one to 'touch' it :) but it is something to discuss- and really analyze- and come to a personal decision on.
DeleteHehe...I have no qualms admitting tht I have been spanked as a child and honestly I dont blame my mother 1 bit. I have given her most of the gray hair on her head;-D. But yeah I was an avg kid....so u thk those studies are true;-o???
ReplyDeleteI spank my kids too tho compared to me they havent even got 10% of wht I received;-P. And almost none for the past 2 yrs;-o. So then they shd be smarter than me. But seriously I feel I'm so much more smarter than them...hahahaaaaa;-D
In India spanking is not a bad word....every single parent is guilty of it...oh alright I cant spk for everyone but I can guarantee 90% of the population does it. And if u ask some of the toppers at universities, they will nostalgically tell u how their mothers/fathers were so tough on them, which is why they are where they are now:-).
See, exactly what I was saying- "if u ask some of the toppers at universities they will nostalgically tell u how their mothers/fathers were so tough on them..." so this goes against what the studies are trying to prove- I think they need to specify that it is not spanking but abuse- I do believe a highly abusive relationship will lead to learning impediment- due to emotional turmoil.
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