Monday, November 21, 2011

A Secret place

"It is such a secret place, the land of tears." - The Little Prince

So, there I was, standing in the middle of Starbucks, waiting for my Decaf tall Mocha. My eyes did not warn me, nor my heart, of the pending tears. At first they just peeked out, as if to see what my response would be. I pretended to look at some merchandise, as I cleverly swiped away the pesky water works. The tears moved forward on the command of the first scouts and they charged ready to invade my cheeks. I made quick work of them with another clean sweep of the back of my hand and thankfully my order was ready. Scooping up the cup, I retreated out to the car where my husband was waiting.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled, looking down as I blinked away the remaining tears.

"What's wrong?"


"What happened in there? You look sad." My puzzled husband continued to pester me with his queries.

"I told you I'm fine!" This time I gave my answer while looking straight into his face. Even if my eyes were still glistening, I was confident any trace of tears had been erased.  He is a good husband, he knew the time for questions was over. After all, even if he had asked me one hundred times or more, there was no answer to give.

Why did I cry in the middle of Starbucks on this particular day? Maybe I was crying for all the changes which I have been through this year. Maybe I was crying for all the things I have to hear from all the different people- so many people so many problems. Maybe it is for the sorrows I see people going through. Maybe I was crying with utter exhaustion. I don't think I'll ever know the reason for my tears. I do think I was long overdue for a cry fest.

We, women, need such things every once in awhile. A cry fest is not a pity party and it is not a descent into depression. In fact, it is almost like a safety valve to keep us from sliding down into the bottom of a well of despair. Its just a time when you can release your emotions ever so quietly and calmly- and after a nice good cry- you feel some what energized and like "wow- now I can take the world on again"

When we arrived home, I told my loving, spouse, "I need to go downstairs and finish up the laundry."

I  turned on the worship music, worked on laundry and cried a bit more...this time allowing the tears to flow freely down my face. I read Psalms 139 and I thanked God that He made me so wonderfully. He knows every single part of me and what makes me tick and what keeps me going.  He made me with safety valves and healing parts. If only I will listen to Him; God has programmed great self fixing mechanisms throughout my system. Now that makes me smile!

*The picture of the tears is taken from Poetry in Motion from a beautiful write up about tears and an accompanying poem. Be sure and check it out!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Feature Friday- Amanda Duford : Rain

Amanda's album "Rain"
Today is 'Feature Friday'- and the featured person is Amanda DuFord Shields. This young woman has a beautiful voice and writes her own songs.  If you want to find out more about her, you can check out her website

Amanda's mother disclosed an interesting fact about Amanda.  Amanda's love for singing began from the time she could make noise as a baby. She wouldn't gurgle like most babies; she would hum and make music. I've known Amanda for almost four years; in that time, I've seen her undeniable love for music. She doesn't need an audience. She creates beautiful music because that is what she was born to do.  Effortlessly, her fingers float across the piano keys and her voice matches each note to create beautiful music. She doesn't need an audience, but her music draws people in and they are touched by the beauty created. It is a God-given gift.

Why do people wait for Christmas or birthdays to give gifts? Actually a gift can be given at any time of the year...and guess what? I am doing a giveaway for the first 7 people who comment and tell me where I was born. I'll send you one free cd of Amanda DuFord's "Rain" album. 

I know, once you've heard the album, you'll want to order more to give away as gifts to your friends and family. You will have ample opportunity to do so at Amanda's website.

* I will attempt to keep comments hidden until I have 7 people with the correct answer. When I've opened the comments up for public viewing and your comment makes the 'cut'- email me at with your mailing address so I can send you a CD.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Putting on Big Boots

"When you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen" - Pooh's Little Instruction Book

I'm not much of a shoe pair of dress pair of daily shoes and I'm fine. (seriously) However, being here in the Northwest, I do realize the need for boots, in certain types of weather. Boots definitely speak of the expectation of wet or cold weather. I have also found boots to be quite warm and cozy; which has been a very nice surprise.
Kailynn: my adventure

In life, there are all kinds of adventures. Some adventures are not necessarily negative in nature....but it is always good to be fitted with the warm, cozy boots for what is ahead. When I first put on my 'grandmother boots' I was surprised how wonderfully comfortable they were. 
Sean and Neisha

What a lovely treat for me to learn that my kids have decided to get their 'big boots' on and present me with two more grandchildren! Sean and Neisha will be expecting their second child in April. Katrina and Micah
looking forward to great adventures
Katrina and Micah
will be expecting their first child at the end of May. I'm putting my big boots on; these "grandma boots" are ready for great adventures in the days ahead.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Deja vu

Cassandra getting ready
guest sign in table
program pick up table
The actual definition of Déjà vu from the Merriam Webster Dictionary is -  the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time.  You may think you are experiencing déjà vu with this post; after all, didn’t you just see wedding photos from my daughter’s wedding two months ago? Well, let me assure you…these are brand new photos because this is my youngest daughter’s wedding.  

entry decorations
Family came from all over the world (literally)…friends flew in….houses were filled to the rafters with people, noise and general hurry and flurry. The day before the wedding it rained cats and dogs. The day of the wedding the sun shone cheerfully. Its smile promised us a pleasant day ahead and it sure didn’t disappoint us.

Daniel walking down the aisle
table center pieces
chair decorations
The location was again at the Clise Mansion in Redmond, but this time the ceremony was held inside. The halls were decorated with rustic, woodsy themes. Dried flowers filled mason jars and the wedding party held wheat bouquets and sported wheat boutonnieres. My mother, a traditionalist, could not get her head around these items by themselves, but she admitted (after the wedding) that somehow they all worked and looked beautiful.

Daniel charging the couple
gifts for the guests
The wedding was wonderfully comfortable. Guests wandered about signing the guest book or making video shots for the couple to see later. The ceremony went without a hitch; although I thought my husband was not going to make it through the vows (he was the one who officiated). The reception proved to be a relaxing event with people having a chance to catch up with each other. The bride and groom did not want the traditional wedding cake; they opted for pies and the guests were thrilled with their choice. The guests were each given a memento: for the females they received a sachet of a pancake mix made by Cassandra and for the males they left with coke and peanuts. The couple sped off on a scooter thus signaling the end of the event. Those left behind were exhausted and ready to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Kailynn asleep on Daniel's shoulder
Couple leaving the wedding on scooter
As far as emotions- can we say ‘roller coaster’?? Wow- my last born- the final child to be married- family members from hither and yon- friends I hadn’t seen for years (one friend for over 15 years)- sleep deprived- juggling a million things together-- jumble all this together and you have a recipe for hormones and emotional turmoil.  Ah, but I survived and I am proud of my dear sweet daughter and her new hubby.
So for all who wondered where I’ve been the past month- now you know!

Where do I begin?

(written on March 28th 2018) For someone with so many words...words that just tumble out even when they are not wanted...words that jump h...