Time to Say Good bye -Sept 2009 USA

"Good bye" has become a familiar refrain in my life. Whether I'm the one going or the one staying it rolls off my lips. The farewells do not become easier with time, but I become better at withstanding them. The hardest part is the 'pre' good bye stage...right before I'm going to travel, or my husband, my children,my parents or friends will travel. Its the feeling of my heart crinkling up into a dried up piece of passion fruit. I don't want to think of life 'without' whoever I'm leaving or is leaving me.

The "good bye" itself and the aftermath go smoothly; after all, what am I supposed to do? I can't afford time to mope around.

Today the time came again for me to say good bye to my husband. It doesn't matter this time will only be three weeks; all good byes feel the same. Normally the "good bye" ritual begins with me giving my husband one last squeeze. While he walks through the security line, he glances back several times with either of us smiling or mouthing something like "I'll miss you"...."Hurry back".... etc etc. I give a final wave when he is walking out of view. Only when I cannot see any part of him, do I turn to go.

As I walk away from the farewell scene, I'm fine. Deep breath- my day planner comes out and I figure out how to juggle everything I have to do.

Now I look forward to when I say "Hello" again!!

A picture is worth a thousand words

*These are random pictures of my 1985 trip from India to England. (actually, to be truly accurate- from Pakistan to England- you have to read the blog entry to understand.)

USA - 2009- life stretches out ahead

Aah, how did I arrive here? When I started this blog it was just to chronicle my trip from India to England. As I get older, my mind dims a bit and some facts fade. I wanted to capture those memories before they disappeared altogether.

The memories stretched on past the journal of my trip. Nothing elaborate, nothing intense, just simple bits and pieces of various times in my life. Sometimes I will look back at an entry and wonder, "Why didn't I mention..this or that..." but then this wasn't meant to be a blog about the specifics or the details. The wide brush strokes make up the pictures formed on these pages. Sometimes one has to actually step back when viewing this blog to get the overall picture. As I step back, I breathe in and let the air out, it is ...after all, my life. It overwhelms me, at times, to know I lived all this...and more. The more might be a bit too much for some to view. :)...so I leave it with the wide brush strokes.

I turn to pick up my brush; I pause and look at the canvas set before me. 2009, 2010, 2011, and on and on it goes. oh my! What beautiful colors are already starting to appear. So much joy and some pain all merge together to form yet another landscape of where my life is going and where it has been.

USA-2008-what a year

Highlights included-

*Sean getting married

*Sean graduating from University

*Sean getting a job in Colorado and moving there with his new wife, Neisha

*Cassandra graduating from high school

*Katrina and Cassandra went to Nepal for the summer

*Daniel moving back to the US

*Me traveling only a couple times during the year- amazing!! (one of the trips was to Toronto, Canada - and I had the pleasure of seeing Niagara Falls)

*moved to the house I am now staying in...wonderful, wonderful house!

*experienced a snow storm like I've never experienced before (and apparently it was record breaking for Washington State)

Kat's new blog 2009

Katrina has a blog. Three entries so far; each entry is concise and to the point. I think I need to learn from her...my entries tend to go on forever...but then maybe that is because I'm older and I have more to say :)....or not!

Here is her new blog's URL, in the event anyone wants to check it out----

http://www.withahumblehand.blogspot.com/

2007- USA- Mindboggling choices

Arriving in the States, this time to actually stay- was a totally different experience. There would be no more getting on a jet plane in three weeks- or in a couple months- this was it. Boxes needed to be unpacked and things organized. The last time I had been in the States to live was ten years earlier, and that was only for year. I was born in Asia- raised in Asia- only came to the States for my university- and then I was back out in Asia and then later Africa. Now I was here to stay.

Just when I thought I had gotten the 'swing of things'- something would side swipe me and I went reeling around trying to get my balance. Something as simple as ordering food at a restaurant proved to be a challenge.

"May I have some soup, please?"

"Do you want bread with your soup?"

"Yes"

"wheat, rye, white, oat, cracked corn, malted meal...." (this all rattled off at super speed which takes superman's hearing to decipher.) So I would sit there thinking "Do I dare ask her to repeat it again- do I even WANT to dare???"....usually, NO...so the easiest thing was

"Wheat please" the first choice and most easily understood.

This problem went for everything on the menu. There was choice after choice--this country is full of choices!! Oh for Ghana where you walk in and look at a menu and say, "I want this dish"

"sorry no more"

ooookay...."I want the fish dish"

"sorry all finished!"

hmmmm...."alright, how about this vegetarian platter?"

"oh madam, that is also finished."

"What DO you have??"

"fried rice and chicken"

No choices- easy decision- takes around 40 minutes to be brought to the table- thus giving you ample time to talk to friends....redo your day planner....contemplate your navel...or whatever you want to do.....

And how about the grocery stores here in the USA????

You go to pick up a can of green beans and you have cans and cans to choose from....company after company...price after price....Okay forget the green beans, you decide to settle for corn but you are faced with the same dilemma. A multitude of choices.

I remember the first day I arrived back and walked into an Albertsons- I literally walked through the aisles with tears in my eyes- not tears of joy, mind you, but tears of exhaustion--- wondering how in the world I was going to choose when I was used to either retrieving the one and only can of something I needed or being told "All sold out...new stock in two weeks"

Mindboggling choices....Don't even get me started on the coffee shops.