"Good bye" has become a familiar refrain in my life. Whether I'm the one going or the one staying it rolls off my lips. The farewells do not become easier with time, but I become better at withstanding them. The hardest part is the 'pre' good bye stage...right before I'm going to travel, or my husband, my children,my parents or friends will travel. Its the feeling of my heart crinkling up into a dried up piece of passion fruit. I don't want to think of life 'without' whoever I'm leaving or is leaving me.
The "good bye" itself and the aftermath go smoothly; after all, what am I supposed to do? I can't afford time to mope around.
Today the time came again for me to say good bye to my husband. It doesn't matter this time will only be three weeks; all good byes feel the same. Normally the "good bye" ritual begins with me giving my husband one last squeeze. While he walks through the security line, he glances back several times with either of us smiling or mouthing something like "I'll miss you"...."Hurry back".... etc etc. I give a final wave when he is walking out of view. Only when I cannot see any part of him, do I turn to go.
As I walk away from the farewell scene, I'm fine. Deep breath- my day planner comes out and I figure out how to juggle everything I have to do.
Now I look forward to when I say "Hello" again!!