Another Suitcase

So what happens now?
Another suitcase in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your picture off another wall
Where am I going to?
You'll get by you always have before
Where am I going to?

The lyrics from Evita and the song "Another suitcase and another hall"-- just made me think of how many suitcases I've had to pack...how many pictures I've taken off the wall...and how no matter where I end up going, I always end up getting by.

I heard this song last year when Katrina was in a musical. She was getting ready to travel to New Zealand and the song made me think of her leaving. I realized she would be following in my footsteps of moving around a lot.

When I first heard the song, I cried. The tears were not sad tears, necessarily. They symbolized the bittersweet feeling every mother must feel when their children have matured enough to take off on their own. A balancing act of emotions which continues all through life.

So there will be more pictures I will take off the wall...There will be suitcases I have to pack and unpack. I've passed this legacy down to my children. They are often more comfortable in an airport or on an airplane than in someone's living room.  There will be pictures Katrina and her siblings will take off their walls...they will pack and unpack many suitcases...and no matter where they go, I know they will be okay because the One who loves them more than I do has them in His care!! What a wonderful assurance!

USA- speeding train

Everyone keeps saying, "Life is moving so fast." Life has felt like a speeding train or some kind of carnival rollercoaster for so many years. Has it always been like this? Is it like this for everyone else?

Children don't seem to think life moves fast enough. "Are we there yet?" "Why is it taking so long?" "When will my birthday come?" The days plod along slowly. They tease the child with promises of what will be.

When does life get on the fast track? I'm trying to remember when I started feeling like life was moving too fast. My daughters are already telling me, "Mom, I wish life would slow down, I have no time to do...this...that..." I told them the other day, "MAKE TIME" - don't allow life to push you along- you take control of life.

I'm just rambling- just thinking- what makes life go so fast. When I talk to the old ladies at the nursing home, they tell me life barely crawls. So maybe it is all our activity which makes life speed up. The busy schedules, the work, the appointments, and the needless running around.

The more I think about it, I think University is one of the first stops on the bullet train line. ..."All aboard...the LIFE train is ready to leave the station..." My Cassandra - the face of Northwest University- I wonder how many people her picture will entice to get on the fast track.

ghana- 2000- Tombstones

I was trying to think how I could sum up the year 2000 in Ghana. I mean how do you put an entire year in one post? I stared at the blank screen and then I remembered an essay I wrote ... I thought about it... and it will do perfectly. I looked through the blog and as far as I know this will be the first time I am posting this essay to this blog-- Simply titled "Tombstones"

I think being in a third world country puts one in a position to face death and sickness on a regular basis, but I don't think it 'prepares' you for it.

Rushing five year old Stephi to the hospital, speeding against time because she needs a blood transfusion. She makes it in time. Her mother is happy. Her father is thrilled. We are all relieved!!

I drive home through the night, sighing, I think, "This is why I am here!" No sooner has the sigh of relief slipped past my lips and the phone rings.

"We rushed Mary to the hospital"

.... I am back on the roller coaster... Mary is such a sweet lady in her 30's. She always has a smile. She is always full of joy. Mary has AIDS.

A short time before the phone call I went up to Aburi mountains with Mary. She was cold and I let her use my jacket. We kept joking with each other. Mary bubbled over with energy; what is she doing being rushed to the hospital? Didn't she only have a small problem with her stomach?

The phone rings again; now the ride swoops down. She is dead. I feel like I'm on one of those rides where the thing loops around and you are upside down.......what do you mean she is dead? I just talked to her!

No time to think. There are coffins to pick out, a dress to sew, something simple but elegant for her to wear in the casket.

Now I take out my jacket and I can't look at it the same way. I look over at Daniel's overstuffed green chair. I dragged it down to the hospital so Samuel could be comfortable the last day he was with us. Every time he tried to lean back he couldn't breathe. His heart would pound like a horse gone wild. He was exhausted. Everyone was exhausted taking turns allowing him to lean on us...that is when I thought of the chair...it didn't go back all the way, so it allowed him to rest while sitting up. Samuel was relieved when he leaned back in the soft chair. We said good-bye to him, he couldn't speak, but his eyes said everything. He smiled and closed his eyes and then he was gone.

The tombstones lining the pathway of my lifetime are not made up of rock and marble....no...they are made up of jackets...chairs...sweaters....shoes.....handbags......little
dolls.....raggedy stuffed animals....memorials to those who have gone on ahead of me....reminders that life here on earth doesn't last forever.......maybe it is a reminder (after all) of what I am doing here in Africa.

The Simple Things in Life- Japan 1992

This picture is old and worn. It has traveled with me for 16 years. In suitcases, on my desk, slipped in a book and now it has found its place on my knickknack shelf. I see the photo displayed prominently in a heart shaped glass frame. It greets me when I enter the house and it bids me farewell when I leave. What is the significance of this picture?

Everytime I see this photo, I'm reminded of what is important in life. It is the simple things. We tend to want to complicate life. We dress it up and parade it around. We add frills and sashes. Life, in and of itself, is simple. You are born- you live and then you die. It can't get anymore simple than that. Whether you are born rich or born poor- you live- and you die.

Why does this photo remind me of this? There are my three children in the midst of the affluence in Japan. Technology abounding all around them: The latest toys, the most sophisticated gadgets and complicated electronics. Their happiest moments were spent in a cardboard box pretending they were voyagers out at sea. The wind in their faces and imaginary waves bashing against their vessel.

The picture is faded from years of handling. Despite the worn surface, the look of glee cannot be mistaken on all three of their faces. They found the joy in the simple act of imagination. Their discovery was priceless.

present day ponderings- 2008

Where does time go? One minute you are holding this tiny baby in your arms. She can't do anything without you. You blink and the next minute she is turning 18! sigh.

She has grown up into a wonderful young lady. I'm thankful for this. She has dreams of becoming a surgical nurse. She studies hard. She plans to go to Nepal this summer. I can't even fathom where this young woman came from. She is and has always been a blessing.

Now she follows her elder brother and sister out into the world. I know she will make her mark there. She has already chipped away at my heart, sculpting her unforgettable image for me to hold onto forever.