Wednesday, June 15, 2011

friendships and friendshifts

Friends and coats are alike. They both make you feel warm and cozy- except sometimes they feel like they are smothering you. When you wear a coat during the middle of summer, the coat  makes you sweat. If you don't realize the seasons have changed for you and your friend, you can feel equally uncomfortable. 

There are different types of friendships and different seasons which friends go through.  There are those friendships which feel right no matter what time of your life you are in. Those friendships are like the all weather coats; they come with the inner lining which can be removed or put back. Isn't that just like an all weather friend; one who knows when to remove something or put something back.

Years ago, I read a book by Jan Yager about friendships and how they shift. She had some really interesting ideas in her book. One of her main themes is that it is okay for a friendship to shift. If we keep trying to hold on to 'what was' we won't be able to enjoy 'what is' (my paraphrase).

I heard it once said, "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." I have a lot of those friends and I sure do love them. There are other friends who haven't a clue what my heart is singing. We've all had those friends, haven't we? You'd think we need only the ones who know the song in our heart-but actually friends on all levels are equally important in our lives. We, in turn, are equally important in their lives. We just have to know what kind of friendship we have and what season that friendship is in.

Jesus is my best friend and no matter what season I am in- He is always there for me. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).

 'A' simple blogger has allowed me to post a link to his daughter's poem on friendship. It showcases the very essence of friendship.

Who is your best friend? Have you ever gone through a friendshift in your friendship?


  1. Anjuli,

    I agree with you. Good description of friends. A long time my daughter wrote a short poem on friends. You had read and commented at that time but I thought I will give you link again here. It is kind of related...view point from a a girl in preteen years

  2. A - Oh yes I remember the poem! Now as I read it over again- I'm wondering if you will allow me to link to the poem- I think it really show cases a true friendship and what it means.

  3. Anjuli,

    Of course you can link to the poem. My pleasure. :))

  4. I had never made the connection between friends and coats like you did. What a wonderful notion.

    Great thoughts and well said.

  5. Hey, this one is so true. I have gone through the friendshift phases so many times and in the recent past that I had at a point begun to doubt things. i see your point in how friends at every level are just as important. Each bond is different and no point in stretching any one to resemble another. You might hurt, or worse, break.

  6. your post spoke to me on a very personal level. i havent been able to adjust from the 'what was'to 'what is' very well with a certain friend....and my heart aches for the friendship we had....but you have me rethinking again.

  7. @ Mark- thanks for visiting- love your poems!

    @ Sneo - You are so right about the 'might hurt or worse break'- we need to just recognize each friendship for what it is.

    @ Limenlemons- oh when a friendship shifts- it does make our heart ache, it is like an earthquake in our should try to get the book friendshifts by Jan Yager- it is a great book to just have on your book shelf

  8. This is a great post. My best friend and I met our first week of college. There has been a natural shift, since we obviously aren't in college any more spending so much time together, and both are married with our own families, but we still meet for lunch as often as we can, and always pick up where we left off.

  9. @ Christine - I have quite a few friendships like that and I love them!


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